• girl 1: omg im pregnant
• girl 2: omg im addicted to drugs
• girl 3: omg im always drunk
• me: omg i accidentally reblogged this twice

thecoletrainbaby:

hey i just met you

and this is crazy

but i see your text post

and holy shit i wish i could make you feel better oh my god i am so sorry you’re having a bad day gODDAMNIT WHAT DO I DO TO FIX THIS

don’t get attached to tv programmes

because they will go on hiatus

and you will die

(Source: moraniarty)

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through